mom to mom with valerie

Meet Valerie Metz. 

A California beachside based content creator, lifestyle photographer, wife to Zach, and mama to her two kids Hendrix (3) and Rio (9months). I sat down with her (virtually) to hear her authentic truth, her story, her advice, her love. We hope that this conversation either guides you before becoming a mom or inspires you as a mom to know that you aren’t alone. #MomToMom

Q: Please introduce yourself, where you're from, and what you do.
Hi! My name is valerie metz. I live beachside in Costa Mesa, CA and i'm a lifestyle photographer and content creator.

Q: I am inspired by you and your hubby's love and your beautiful family. What's your story?
Thanks so much! My husband and I met when I was 18 and got engaged after FOUR months of dating! We got married really young and waited a few years before we (unexpectedly) added kids to our family. We now have two sweet babes and are in the process of fostering!

Q: What's your birth story? Was it easier with one kid than the other? Seamless all around? Any tips or thoughts you can share?
I had both kids in an amazing hospital with midwives. Both experiences went well- my first one was long and had a few hiccups and scares because it was taking so long to get him out but all went well. My second one was way easier and quicker, I think because my body already knew what it was doing. The best tip I could offer is to listen to your body! I had planned to go as natural as I could. The pain level with contractions was tolerable but I had NO idea I would feel so nauseous and be covered in chills. I was shaking uncontrollably and couldn't get my anxiety down so I ended up getting epidurals both times which calmed my mind and body down.

Q: How old were you when you had Hendrix? And how has the transition been seeing him as an older brother and now seeing yourself as a mommy of two?
I was 24 when I first became a mom! The transition has been really sweet. Hendrix has adjusted amazingly and loves his baby sis so well. He does crave one on one attention and acts naughty to me to get that attention so instead of getting bothered by his behavior, I prioritize quality time with him which always helps!

Q: What's been the most challenging parts of motherhood and the most rewarding parts?
The most challenging part of motherhood for me personally, has been the pressure it comes with. I sometimes romanticize what it would be like to raise kids 2 decades ago before social media. I have to be extra careful with what I allow myself to feel affected by because everyone's opinions will make me anxious and feel like I'm not doing enough. However, it is pretty amazing to have current research on parenting styles and effective discipline. The best parts have been watching my and my husbands personalities in tiny humans develop and it’s also been VERY healing for me to raise kids. There are some parts of my childhood that were rough and being able to learn and grow from those experiences has been redeeming.

Q: Do you feel like motherhood has transformed you in any way?
Yes its taught me (and currently still teaching me) what sacrifice is! I feel like i'm constantly learning to put my selfish and unhealthy aside and be the best version of myself for my family.

Q: What have you learned from your two lil's?
They've taught me to love endlessly!!! Even on bad days, I need to pull myself together and keep loving their pure and innocent souls. such good practice to love on others!

Q: Do you have a specific story or experience you want to share that either challenged you, uplifted you, was a beautiful moment –– anything.
I can’t recall a specific story but everyday is an adventure! (even on hard days) the most life giving moments are when we spend hours at the beach in the sunshine with the waves. our babes love playing there and we are just our happiest there!

Q: Do you have any advice for moms to be, current mamas, or women in general?
The best advice is to ASK FOR HELP! practice and normalize asking for extra hands! It's humbling for our kids to witness that and we take care of ourselves that way. Also listen to your body and your gut- only we know what's best for our families, we are all different!

Q: How do you take care of YOU? Do you have a routine that keeps you grounded?
Oh yes I do! I wake up (almost every morning) before the kids and sacrifice the extra hour of sleep for alone time. I do yoga, sip on some coffee, read, etc. I feel like I can start the day off better that way. My husband is also really good about pushing me to get alone time! I instantly feel refreshed after getting some alone time in or quality time with a close friend!